


no more running

by hufflebee



Series: queer!izzy verse [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Sexuality talk, Sibling Bonding, mentions of past suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 09:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11272551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflebee/pseuds/hufflebee
Summary: A party invitation leads to serious conversations and sibling bonding.(part of the queer!izzy verse, but can be read on its own)





	no more running

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much to everyone who commented on the previous works in this series, or left kudos, or anything, it means the world to me <3
> 
> this part was supposed to just be an intro to the party, but it kind of got away from me. oops?  
> but the next instalment of the series will be magnus' party, so look out for that sometime (hopefully) soon!
> 
> tumblr: hufflebee.tumblr.com

Things have been quiet, a sort of new routine settling in their lives and the only truly new thing in Izzy’s life is Maia. Ever since the movie night, they’ve been texting constantly, even met up for coffee a few times. Spending time with Maia was so easy, natural, but then she’d hug Izzy, or tuck a piece of Izzy’s hair behind her ear, and Izzy’s heart would skip a beat and her mind would start storming.

It’s strange, because Izzy is used to flirting and crushes, but this feels different, feels like more.

She’s just debating texting Maia when there is a soft knock on Izzy’s door, and then Alec is standing in the doorway.

“Hello, big brother, everything okay?” Izzy asks as Alec moves to sit down beside her on her bed. There’s this ease about him now, another thing that’s becoming normal, just like him living in Brooklyn is becoming normal (not that he’s actually said he moved, but Izzy hasn’t seen him spend the night at the Institute in over a month).

“Yeah, I was actually wondering if you were free on Saturday night,” Alec asks.

“I think so, why?”

“How do you feel about going out?”

“Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

Alec just rolls his eyes at her gaping expression; a small smile on his face, one Izzy can’t help but return.

“Magnus is throwing a party at Pandemonium,” Alec explains, and Izzy doesn’t miss the quirk of his lips as he says Magnus’ name.

“Something special going on or?”

“Well, uhm, kind of,” Alec says, looking at her unsurely. “It’s sort of a mundane thing, but June is Pride Month, like a month to celebrate the LGBTQIA+ community, and Magnus throws a party for it each year.”

“Oh.” She remembers vaguely reading something about that, but it hadn’t crossed her mind in a while. Alec is still looking at her warily, and she can’t help but notice the irony of _Alec_ being unsure about asking _her_ to go to a party.

“You don’t have to go there and come out or justify being there, I just thought it might be good for you,” Alec says. “It was for me.”

“You’ve been to a pride party before?”

“No, but Magnus and I have been to a gay club close to Pandemonium a couple times,” Alec explains and Izzy listens as he describes how he was unsure of it, but had wanted to at least see it once. He tells her how freeing it felt to dance with Magnus, how he kept seeing girls dancing with and kissing other girls, guys flirting and buying drinks for other guys.

“We went a few more times after that, it’s a whole different feel than other clubs I used to sulk in with you and Jace,” Alec finishes. “And I’ve been meaning to bring it up to you, but the Pandemonium party popped up and I think it’s an even better option, maybe less intimidating. If you want to go, of course.”

Izzy contemplates what Alec said and she sees how happy he is talking about having a safe space, surrounded by people who share this with him. And he has a point; she doesn’t need to go there with a label on her forehead.

“If it helps, Maia is going to be there,” Alec says, nudging her shoulder, a knowing smile on his face. Izzy blushes and things have really changed, haven’t they?

“And you and Magnus are going, right?”

“Of course.”

“Okay, yeah, I’m in,” Izzy says, smiling at her brother. He hugs her, saying he’ll let Magnus know she’s coming.

“Have you asked Jace and Clary?”

“Yeah, but they’re on patrol that night,” Alec says. “Magnus invited Simon, Luke and Raphael, I think Cat and Dot might pop in as well. But it’s probably going to be a lot of people, regardless. It’s a mundane inclusive party.”

“Great, thank you for inviting me,” Izzy says, and Alec just rolls his eyes at her in response. “Is there any special dress code or something?”

“I think the only, very casual guideline is colorful,” Alec says.

“Meaning you’ll wear that one and only burgundy shirt you have?”

Alec ruffles her hair at that and she bats his arm away, both of them smiling.

* * *

 

It’s the night of Magnus’ party, and Alec is at the Institute, waiting on Izzy. Magnus had been at Pandemonium since the early evening, making sure everything was okay, and he seemed pretty happy with how things turned out when Alec called him on his way here.

Another few minutes pass, during which Alec receives yet another text from Aline about how the Clave is stupid for not letting her have a day off so she and Helen could come, and Alec decides to go check on Izzy.

Alec can see that she’s still struggling with figuring out her feelings and her sexuality, and while he tries his best to help, it’s something that’s hard to put in words for him. And it’s also not something he can figure out for her, no matter how much he might want to. But he thinks she’s slowly but surely finding her way, or at least starting to, especially with Maia now in the picture.

Alec smiles at the memory of Izzy blushing when she first told she had been hanging out with Maia, but his smile drops when he gets to Izzy’s room.

Clothes are scattered everywhere, shoes tossed carelessly on the floor, and in the middle of the mess on her bed, Izzy is sitting with her knees hugged to her chest.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Alec asks, crossing the room quickly and sitting down beside Izzy.

“Nothing, I just-” She takes a shaky, exhausted breath. “I know it’s just a party and it doesn’t have to be anything more than that, but I have never been this anxious about going literally anywhere.”

“If you don’t want to go, it’s okay,” Alec says quietly, placing a hand on Izzy’s back.

“I want to go, I do, I just, I don’t know if I can do this,” Izzy says, and Alec recognizes that tone of voice. Recognizes the want to do something, but having a huge wall in your way, one that doesn’t seem worth the mess and effort of destroying it.

“I know it’s scary, but, I promise you, it’ll be worth it,” Alec says, his eyes on Izzy’s. “And it’s not just this party, the whole figuring it out, it’s worth it. It doesn’t have to happen tonight, or tomorrow, but I don’t want to watch you run from it forever.”

Izzy nods, though her eyes are still uncertain, and it’s silent for a while, Izzy’s deep breaths the loudest sound in the room.

“Do you remember the party for Max’s rune ceremony?” Alec asks. “And the spell Jace, Clary and I were under?” Izzy is watching him, confused, but after a moment, Alec sees her figure out what he’s saying, can see the tears in her eyes appear momentarily. “It never got that bad, not really. But it would have, if not for Magnus encouraging me to be myself, to not hide from myself. So please, don’t hide from this.”

Izzy throws her arms around him, clinging to him for a few minutes, and Alec is running his hands across her back, placing a soft kiss to her hair. When she pulls back, Alec can see the streaks from a few tears that escaped her eyes, and he gently brushes them away.

“Party?” Alec whispers. Izzy looks from him to the mess of clothes around them, and when her eyes land back on Alec, her face is determined and she nods.

“No more running and hiding,” she says, voice sure, and she gives Alec another quick hug before picking up a few clothing items from the bed and the floor and going to the bathroom.

Alec texts Magnus, saying they’ll be a bit late, and then finds himself staring at his lock screen. It’s a picture of him and Magnus in Central Park, and Alec has his lips pressed to Magnus’ temple, eyes closed. Magnus is looking at the camera, smiling like the sun, and Alec will never grow tired of the warm feeling in his heart at the sight of that smile.

The door to the bathroom opens, and Izzy is there, a bright pink dress on, her hair curled and falling along her back. She’d fixed her makeup and put on black heels, and she walks over to her closet, pulling out a black leather jacket.

“You look beautiful,” Alec tells her and she grins at him, offering her hand to him. He takes it and gets up, both of them leaving the room, but just as the door shuts behind them, Izzy stops him, a gentle hand on his arm.

“I’m really proud of you, you know that?” she says, her voice earnest, and he nods, but before he can say anything, she continues. “And I am so happy and grateful you found Magnus, now more than ever.”

He smiles at her, pulling her in for a quick hug, and as they’re leaving the Institute, Alec almost feels like they’re leaving for a mission, and maybe in a way they are. It may not involve demons from other realms, but rather ones in his sister’s mind, but that just makes it that much more important. And while, in the end, he knows she’ll have to beat them on her own, he’s glad he can be there for her, even if it’s only as a reminder.

A reminder that these demons can be beaten.


End file.
